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four years

by I DO NOT LOVE.

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1.
four years into (free) 02:02
2.
memorial (free) 02:12
it's not divine sense, it's brittle hair twitching to redeem the high esteem for which i have been itching. again, the pillow is in front of the door, to soften the blow of forming lore. if only clarity would grace the most pained with a kiss of insight to assuage the plight of all that has since gone amiss (everything.) again, my dear cushion is upon the floor, damming out the world for the pursuit of pleasure in a solitary form.
3.
crypt (free) 02:19
an empty headstone, no image, no script but "everything dies." however, i won't. a promise to be broken through canines kissing and the lashing of loose fillings. an empty mausoleum stands so close to the lines of divinity's fragile hands knotted tight in prayer for the promise to be as romantic as persistent as death.
4.
iv (free) 02:33
the coming on may solved nothing and i, the fool, thought in some profound way that memories could fade. all of the things i had hoped never to gain now just stain and replay ie "treats?" "treats." treats. balmy visions of the nothingness of deserts and sterile sand. i wish i could reach in and erase everything. like an album, i could so simply, remove the photos burn them out and replace them with "treats?" "treats." treats.
5.
a failure (free) 03:02
everything. i want to tell you, please let me tell you. i long to hear you sing your silly songs about nothing. i want to tell you. please let me tell you. i still dream of you. daily i must stop myself from drawing you pictures of everything i want to tell you please let me tell you. i long to feel the comfort of your love and i want to tell you. please let me tell you. i still dream of you without need for hesitation because you don't need to choose i need to tell you.
6.
i swear i don't hurt (free) 02:24
rechart and remap the lying cartography of the lifelines written upon my hands. i've never been one to believe in astrology or the like, but my desperation has forced me to rely on signs. don't bother falling i'll kill slowly my throat taring my insides out does my body reveal fate or merely present the illusion of longevity and a future filled with love? if that's the case, then i'll continue my behavior making love with water that coldly holds me back. don't waste time climbing, we die slowly. no love, just taring our insides out. don't bother growing, we die slowly. no love, just taring my insides out.
7.
down and left (free) 03:07
salt water filling the lungs gilled creature anchored above no shelter from the suffocating air that drags the lonely into its lair hook after hook always nothing gouged cheek torn flesh always nothing. clawing, barely making the crest tangled line silencing the pest someone please fill the cavity left in my bed left in my chest
8.
dreams don't come true (free) 02:48
so it starts i close my eyes and pray to god "make it stop." these memories are killing me. i hope that everything will melt away dreaming of may in which these memories will not kill me i wish that dreams could save a ghost and bring true hope to me.
9.
valentine (for joanna) (free) 03:05
can i get to know you even better everything you reveal makes me swoon i always look forward to talking on the phone with you i still look forward to learning even more from you can i assure you that you are beautiful and in my arms you have reserved a place where you can be home you'll always be home
10.
should (free) 02:48
break the stem before the dawn before the bud, before first breath is drawn choosing to revel in the beauty of loss the solar star is blind to the fact that it was the cause of the black hole should i bloom alongside the cycles the moon? no, the flares erupt and char: the petal plumed emaressingly rouge, focusing on the earth a sliver of caged teeth to arrest the birth i will never get what i want of the black hole are you happy sun? i have nothing now
11.
how can i (free) 02:33
could it be that i am lost in lust and the rose colored hues were that of rust? the body and chasm contra the mind and orgasm i could not choose anything but the waves of instinct and needy haste stay away, i feel nothing. but shame.
12.
i'll burn your letters and break the ceramics because it's not worth it anymore. i'm emptying the cardboard box full of your drawings they don't mean anything anymore. i'm deleting your messages so lovingly spoken they'll never be uttered anymore. i promise to stop writing and drawing you pictures that won't be responded to anymore. i'll stop pursuing i promise to stop caring because it's not worth it anymore. please know i tried my best to kill all hope but i thought you were worth it not anymore.

about

a collection of remastered rarities
released on valentine's day with Beko.

beko.bandcamp.com

credits

released February 14, 2013

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I DO NOT LOVE. Mansfield, Massachusetts

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